Comparing Yourself to Others – A Common Trap

Everybody compares themselves to other people at some point in their life.

It's positive that others compare themselves to you, but it's unfortunate that you do it as well.

Even though neither is particularly beneficial, human nature is what it is.

We grow, we strive, and sometimes, unfortunately, we give up because of it.

This can be a good thing. It's a learning experience. We learn from the experience and we grow.

We learn from the people around us, too, and they can help us to better ourselves.

Sometimes, it's good to compare yourself to others, but it's also imperative that you don't compare yourself to others at all times.

Studies show that when people compare themselves to those who are (or appear to be) better off, they feel worse about their own situations.

This is why psychologists often encourage people to stop comparing themselves!

Read more about the studies here.

You should only compare yourself when you feel like it's appropriate or necessary.

The point of this post is not to be mean or hurtful; in fact, the opposite would be the case.

This is a way of letting other people know that you are aware of what they are doing and that you're not judging them for comparing themselves to other people in general.

If someone is using an abusive tactic against you in order for them to get what they want out of you, then, by all means, let them know how painful it is for you because of your comparison with them and how much easier life would be if they weren't.

Comparing Yourself to Others is a Fixed Mindset

Without comparing ourselves to anything, we would not be able to learn how to achieve and grow, wouldn't we?

Sometimes, when we compare ourselves to others, we are able to determine how successful we've been and how badly we've failed.

As a result, we can determine where we should improve and achieve more.

Unfortunately, those with a fixed mindset do not experience the opposite thinking process.

There is actually a reverse process of thinking, which indicates that we are not as good as the other person, so we should just quit.

On the other hand, intelligence is not as effective as it is in reality.

We tend to believe that our intelligence is more or less than that of others, but this is not the case.

If you want to increase your self-confidence and increase your accuracy when estimating yourself, you need to act as if intelligence is more than it really is.

When we realize that intelligence is not something static, but rather something that can be improved with effort and perseverance, we start to feel more confident in our abilities.

You are not alone if you feel that viewing someone else's success is only a way to make yourself look bad.

Some people believe that others' achievements reflect their own failures.

Perhaps you've come up with excuses such as "they were lucky" or "everything just came naturally to them."

It is possible that someone's success might be used to point out their shortcomings.

Worse, they may even use their success to highlight some other unrelated shortcoming.

In that case, could you re-train your brain to think of success as a journey and not as a destination? Could you reprogram your mind to a growth mindset?

Comparing Yourself to Others Can Lead to a Growth Mindset

In contrast to a fixed mindset, a growth mindset allows you to change and grow over time as you re-train your brain to this way of thinking.

You can strive harder, work harder, and achieve success by viewing other people's achievements as reasons to thrive.

When you believe that your abilities can be developed through effort, you increase the likelihood that you will put in that effort.

Growth mindseters don’t just see more reasons to grow, they see more reasons to live.

When you believe in the limitless potential of your abilities, you see endless reasons to keep growing.

It doesn’t matter if your current reality says that you are stuck in a rut or if someone else has said that you are at a dead end.

What matters is your belief in your abilities.

By keeping a growth mindset, you always have something to work on and improve.

A growth mindset isn’t just a positive belief system; it’s a state of mind that you can cultivate.

When you believe that your abilities can be developed through effort, you increase the likelihood that you will put in that effort.

Growth mindseters don’t just see more reasons to grow, they see more reasons to live.

If you choose the thought patterns that intelligence can be developed and that you can train your brain to reach higher heights, you will see a significant transformation in your life.

When you realize that failing at something is not associated with being unsuccessful and that this failure is actually a path to higher learning, you'll feel comfortable in your own skin.

This can help you to become a better learner, grow and learn from your mistakes and ultimately become a more successful person.

When you're comfortable with failing, you'll be more likely to reach out to others who are struggling, seek help when needed and ask for feedback.

You'll also be more open to criticism and learn to take things into consideration before making a change in your life.

Wouldn't it be nice to be free of anxious thoughts about what you think you should be doing?

You can retrain your brain to see failure as a stepping-stone to future successes if you decide to make a change.

You will recognize that failure is a learning tool and not a sign of your competence.

Read more about the 3 Controllable Ways to Gain a Growth Mindset.

Conclusion

Sometimes, it's helpful to think about what other people are doing as well as yourself.

This will help you to see that everyone is on a journey to improve themselves and that there is no one who is better than anyone else.

Even though we all want to be the best in our own fields and even though we all want to improve ourselves in one way or another, it is possible to get stuck in the trap of comparing ourselves to others.

If we do this, we begin to make excuses for why something isn't working for us, which can lead to more resentment, frustration, and ultimately, more unhappiness.

It is important to remember that everyone is unique, so don't try to compare yourself to others. Instead, focus on your strengths and your progress.

If you put your mind to it, you can not only improve your life and your career, but you can also help others to do the same.